the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
