I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
