im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
