i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
