did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
