That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
