Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
