The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sext me about skeletons
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
