And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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