Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize