just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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