I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it was like eating out sand paper
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize