I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She announced her abortion via fbk
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
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I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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