Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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