i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
