I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
