Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
