Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
That accounts for only three of the penises
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I still have a little drunk in my system
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
