Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
