Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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