Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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