yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dignity is for republicans.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
