Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
