found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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