problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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