I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hippo gnu deer
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
