just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
