if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
