so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
