what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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