If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
