if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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