Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize