Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
