I heard we made out
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
