There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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