Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
