it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize