More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
