Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
