i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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