you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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