Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
