I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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