Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
