do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I came so hard my ears popped.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
