North Korea, Best Korea!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
