The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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