there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
