I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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