your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
