sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
