I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
