Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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