Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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