There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
