When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
