Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
