So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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