So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
