i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
