I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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