dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
