...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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