I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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