good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
