Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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