matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
