sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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